


I'm not leaving

by MaryTagus



Series: Not all is bright colors and rainbows [11]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 02:45:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6220525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryTagus/pseuds/MaryTagus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver is scared Felicity would leave the team. But that presence is the only thing giving him hope that he didn't lost her forever so for the first time after she walked out of the loft they are again alone in a room together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm not leaving

**Author's Note:**

> Meant to be a continuation of "I can't"

_“I’m not. I can’t bare being without you.”_

I was already pale white but I’m sure I turn paler. It was the first time since I walked out that we were together in the same room alone.

“Oliver.”

No other words were possible; no answer to his statement was possible. I wish I could run to his arms, all forgiven, all forgotten but I couldn’t because it would be a lie. Not the forgiven part there was nothing to be forgiven but forgotten… that was another matter entirely.  And I can’t, I can’t keep pretending I forget every time he leaves me behind, every time he forgets we are a unit, together for good, for bad, for worse; for good decisions for bad ones, when things go smoothly or when things go south. Oliver will keep doing it; he will keep going on with his life dragging me behind him. I don’t want to be like a trinket, a precious gem he shelters from the all world at all cost, I refuse to be that.

“Felicity…”

I take a step away from him as Oliver comes closer.

“No. Don’t.”

“I… Please. Understand.”

I do. I do understand. He was faced with a no win ultimatum, either tell me or never see his son again, and he decided to abide to it and omit me from this part of his life, our life. I could take him telling me and I kept out of the relation between him and William for Samantha sake, I would have taken it. I wouldn’t understand Samantha but I would abide her ridiculous condition.

But he decided against that. Even when Malcolm, Thea, even Darkh knew, he still kept it to himself. Traveling to Central City for visits and I was in the dark. Out of his life as I was when he decided to let William go, maybe forever. And it hurt, it hurt that the man I was planning on sharing all my life with wouldn’t do the same for me.

I do understand he felt trapped but I cannot build a life with someone that, when in a bad spot, his first step is toward loneliness and isolation. I can’t.

“I am trying.”

“That’s exactly the issue, Oliver. You are. YOU. When there is a serious situation to deal with it's just you always, not we. Does it come to mind that it’s not only you anymore?”

“I’ve been alone, struggling, alone for the most part of my life, Felicity.”

“Don’t. Don’t even go there.” What was I before he came into my life if not alone? Since ever. My dad’s a criminal, my mom… well she tried but… I’ve been struggling alone all my life, making decisions, taking care of myself, fighting to keep my ground, alone always alone.

It wasn’t Lian Yu but it wasn’t a funny ride either.

“I… just don’t know anymore. I  just can’t bare stop seeing you; knowing you are not there, I just can’t. Please don’t leave. If you are there I can hope.”

Oh… that’s the reason he's here. He's afraid I’ll leave the team. I would never do that but in retrospect I can see why he got that impression.

“I’ll be in tomorrow, Oliver. Not leaving the team.”

I say it with the mix of relief and sadness. Relief for, at this point I couldn’t go back to Oliver and it would be incredibly painful to refuse him again; the sadness came as a surprise, deep down I find I really did wish he came here to ask me to come back.

Relief is also reflected on Oliver’s change of stance, like a weight was lifted off his shoulders.

“Thank you. In time I hope for more but… for now I take what I can get even if it is more then I deserve.”

As he reaches for the door I can’t help myself

“Oliver”

He stops, hand on the handle eyes trained on me void.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

“Can’t promise you that, Felicity. You know that.”

Yes, I do know that and I’m glad Oliver didn’t sugar coat it.


End file.
